Waiting Is a Hard Thing

It really is a fact of life, waiting that is. We all have to wait for one thing or another just about every day. Some are simple waits while others are more challenging. For instance, we wait for the coffee to make, wait in line at the store, wait for the red light to change, wait for the return of our family, wait for a favorite program on TV, wait for dinner to get ready, wait for a turn in the bathroom and a multitude of waits longer than I have time for. I am sure each of us have certain waits that are not a big deal to us and another list that will make us climb the wall or just go a little nutty. One that most moms can relate to is the 9 month wait we have gone through in order to hold our precious children in our arms. For the first time mom it goes by about the speed of molasses in the winter time. Those who have little ones already, the wait goes by way to fast to be ready for the next little blessing to arrive. Such is life. Much of it is a hurry up and wait game that is repeated over and over.

You would think that a 5 month pregnancy is nothing compared to a 9 month or even an 11 month one (that's another story). A "piece of cake", "in no time at all, really", "fly by before you know it" are some frequently used phrases we have either said ourselves or have had spoken to us at one time or another. Well, let me tell you waiting for my sons to be born was a piece of cake and flew by quickly, as I enjoyed both of my "waiting times" for them. On the other hand waiting these last 5 months for some baby goats would have turned my hair grey if it wasn't already so. It has been a struggle for me.

Anna' relaxed, so why aren't I?

Waiting on a mom who doesn't speak your language and does things her own way (not by the book) is an act of sheer frustration for this first time goat owner. Anna has been due to kid by our best guess since Christmas eve. Not knowing when she became pregnant left us at a disadvantage in knowing when she would actually deliver. By all accounts from the previous owners she was with "kid" when we bought her from them. WRONG! She has now surpassed those delivery dates and a few more. That was almost a month ago!

Amber & Sugar

Needless to say at the time she joined our family, we were more focused on the breeding of the two does we already had. So we didn't watch her as closely, after all she was already pregnant, right? Anna was the first to show off her new bulging figure, so she must be pregnant. Anna gave us some early signs of impending births; pelvic ligaments gone, belly dropping, losing the mucus plug (Jan 1st), hollowing out on her sides, udder filling and a few subtle ones I just happen to see. So she is really close. Right? Added all up it spoke of her being near her "time" and the waiting was over. Wrong again.

(Yes, that is my shadow in the picture, not to good at taking them, huh?)

Everyday since before Christmas we have been doing the maternity watch. Looking for signs of early labor contractions. I have been watching so closely, my eyes are tired from looking. We have family members calling every few days asking "do we have babies yet"? Nope! We were beginning to think maybe she really wasn't pregnant after all, just a little fat around the edges. We even put her in the kidding pen over 2 weeks ago, because she must be close. Look at all the signs the books and others have said to watch for. I just let her out this past Wednesday as there doesn't seem to be any indication that she will kid soon. Plus I needed to freshen it up for when she does go into labor. I keep telling every one that I think she has her legs crossed on purpose.

Her udder taking shape

I think she is toying with me, by giving a tiny sign here and another one there. Saying in earnest that even she doesn't know for sure when the kids will make their entrance. Like today, she has been acting weird like every other day, so I frequently look out the windows to check on her where abouts. Even through the binoculars I can tell she looks like she has a fuller udder and paws at the ground some (2nd day in a row). So I go down to check on her, maybe she is having the start of labor contractions. She stands there and looks back at me with a "So?". But as I watch, I see something I haven't seen in weeks, movement, small protrusions on her side, rolling against the skin. Babies, I see babies moving. So she is pregnant! Not that I really doubted it, just got tired of waiting. I marvel at the wonder of it all and think about their arrival some day soon (I hope). Then I think does she feel the movement within her and instinctively know that it's her babies moving? Or pardon my bluntness, does she just let the movement pass by and figure it was just gas. (No pun intended). We as humans can marvel at the life within us when we are pregnant, we long to hold that child that flutters under the surface of our bellies and our hearts, we feel a connection to our unborn. As I sat and watched her for a few minutes I realized it makes the waiting worthwhile, but oh so much harder. I have been following some other goat owner's blog of lately and get excited and dare I say a little jealous at their new arrivals. If you want to see some cute newborns go check out Granny's Best at http://grannysbest.blogspot.com/2010/01/kidding-myrtles-surprise.html. She has new, as in less than 24 hours old nubian babies. Hope ours are just as cute as Myrtle's are.

It is all in God's hands and nature follows a beat set by Him alone. So the waiting will continue and I will have to exercise patience in it.

Deborah

P.S. When putting the girls to bed for the night, I noticed Anna's udder is filling up more. Can now be seen protruding from behind her legs. Nothing like the picture above taken a couple of days ago. This means she is making lots of yummy milk to nurse her babies with. Soooooo, does this mean they will be here soon? Before morning? Tomorrow? This weekend? So much for waiting with patience.

It's Friday

Rain is falling with heavier showers to come. I let Anna and Sugar out of the kidding pens last night. Neither are looking like impending labor is near. I keep wondering about Anna especially. She is almost a month past her due date. She was looking closer to birthing 20 days ago. With all the research in books and online it is hard to know what to do. Questions and conflicting thoughts circle through my head daily. I hope it was not a mistake leaving them out for the night. Bad weather and a strong willed goat is not a good combination. Add to that labor and she would be very difficult to get back in the kidding pen. Guess I will find out when I go down to the barn.



I had to put up another Roo yesterday as there was fighting between 2 Welsummers. One was bloody and injured to the point, I don't know if he will make it. And it was the very one we were considering using as our breeder in the Spring, to add to our flock some more of these beautiful birds. I even had someone interested in trading me some hens for one of them. Now I will have to wait and see if I will even have one to trade. It appears from what I have been told we could possibly have some viral illness in our flock. But it only seems to be affecting the roosters, none of the hens are showing any signs. Which is good, we need all the lovely eggs that they are laying.

Life continues,

Deborah

Routine Changes

I've been enjoying my new morning routine changes. Taking time to write, read devotionals and ponder the day has proved to slow my thinking and redirect my focus. I am truly sitting more in a relaxed frame of mind. The rush to get on the computer feeling has just about left me. Staying caught up in any one area to the neglect of another is not good. Balance is needed in every area in order for the workings of life to run smoothly. When I do get on it, I actually read through and leave comments on several favorite blogs. Which I am sure will inspire me to keep up to date on my own blog entries on a more timely manner. Thanks for all the friends who take the time to comment on a post of mine and who inspire me with one of theirs.

Crocheting kid coats (baby goat, not human) has been great therapy for me as we wait for Anna to give birth. With her being WAY past "our" projected date is cause enough for me to "fret" a little. Working on them has kept my hands busy and my mind occupied somewhat. Besides creating cute sweaters for our future babies. After trying several suggested patterns, that didn't work out for me. I am using a simple dog sweater pattern, that is so simple that after making one, you can do multiples without looking at the directions. It is easily altered too. Making it a great option for any size goat, young or old. Plans are that we will try to complete the last kidding stall today. So if the girls decide to do a "group thing", we will be ready for them. There are several things still needed for my kidding kit. Researching the options to getting them may be good use of my computer time today. Starting out for the first time leaves us with needing everything! So finding the best prices and getting quickly to boot is a prudent thing to do. Should be able to purchase a few items at the TSC, tomorrow on my grocery and errand day.

I love the color, this left over yarn will make some spiffy coats for the babies.



I think I may look up the moon phases for this month. Just to see if it could have any bearing on their deliveries. So many farmers plant and harvest by the moon phases. I know my grandfather did when he was farming back in the 30's,40's, 50's and up to his death. There is lots of information to be had in the Farmer's Almanac for those interested.

Today is suppose to be a sunny, warm day - perfect weather for fueling Spring fever! That is if the heavy morning fog will ever lift. At least the foggy funk around my heart and mind is lifting with the routine changes taking place.

Deborah

A Letter from a Father

Read this in a devotional, the author unknown and in light of my recent thoughts knew it's timing was no mistake. I would like to share it with you, may it bring you comfort and direction in your life.

"Dear Child,

Before you were even born, I knew what every single one of your days was going to be like. (Psalm 139:16) Whatever circumstances you face in your life are not going to surprise Me. I have everything you will need, and I will walk you through every step of the way.

When you feel helpless and worried, let that be a sign to you that you need to turn to Me. I am your refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble. (Psalm46:1)

When you worry, dear one, know that it robs you of the present. Worry also robs you of satisfaction. When you are worried, it's so difficult to be thankful and realize how I have taken care of you. Worry displaces thanksgiving in your heart.

Come to Me. You don't have to strive and strain to make things happen. My plans for your life is a good one. All I've asked you to do is to trust Me. I'll walk with you step by step. There's nothing that we can't tackle together.

I don't promise that life will be easy, but in the hard times, turn to Me ~ you will find Me there ready to hold you while your world shakes. I will protect you. I will carry you if you need carrying. I will hold your hand and walk you through it all.

Don't worry about the possible hard times that may or may not come. When they do come, you and I will face them together. (Isaiah 43:12) I will give you everything you need. Though you may stumble, you will not fall because I will uphold you with My hand. (Psalm 37:23-24)

It makes Me sad when you stress and strain and worry about things I have promised I will provide. I have your life covered ~ down to the tiniest detail.

I love you. Please trust Me."

Your Father

Don't Forget to Balance

With all of the ideas and plans I have mounded up in my mind there is little room for much else. Which is not a good thing, for we need balance in every aspect of life, in order to really live. Looking over my notes of organization that I made up yesterday reminded me of the simplicity of balance a schedule of sorts creates. Each area of concern gets addressed with nothing being forgotten or slighted. It is also comforting to me to work within the boundaries created. I believe if we can come to an agreement about how to handle some of the issues we are faced with daily. Then the daily workings of this farm will be easier challenges to face. I have been guilty of being too focused at times. Pushing myself beyond endurance and frustrating others in the process. A no win situation for sure.

My thoughts are and history has proved it before, that if everything is set into working order. It will in turn relieve the stress we feel and open the doors to easier living. The problem is that we often don't see the living right under our noses. It is like putting off gratification to a day that may never come. If this is true, then we have missed out on the pleasure it had to offer us in the first place. Each day only comes by once, it's delights vanish with the passing of it. Life truly is short and most often not appreciated by the majority of people. There needs to be a change in my life, as I am sure there is in yours. All work can make you dull if not sick. There needs to be a balance found that enables us to play through our days too. Looking for the joy in the moment, regardless of the task before us. The unknown in our days can often causes us to fret, when the One who holds it, already knows all about it.

Resting ~ in HIS hands,

Deborah

Getting My House in Order

16*F was the temperature when I got up this morning. It is suppose to warm up now after last night's Arctic blast. Though the down side is the warming trend is bringing in more rain with it. So any pressing outside chores need to be done today, as they are calling for rain to continue the next two days. Despite the frigid temperature I enjoyed being out with the animals this morning. Sleeping better last night has helped the way I feel today. Amazing what a good night's rest can do for a body. Almost energetic and there is a lift in my spirit besides. I've set for a spell this morning over a warm cup of coffee and made a list of to-do chores for my day.

I've had a beautiful cardinal greet me at the kitchen window as I made coffee in the mornings for several days now. He might have been begging a little and I finally got the hint to help him and his friends out. So I set up a barrel near the well house, scattering some birdseed on top of it. "Mr Red" isn't the only one that has been seen about these parts of the woods. I so miss the activity at my feeders back home. Watching the birds up close has been a favorite hobby of mine for many, many years. I even have a friend who will call me with all of her bird questions, knowing I have spent many hours with my nose pressed up to the glass. Birdwatching is just one of the many hobbies I follow, but one I enjoy where ever I find myself. It is one that needs little equipment and is portable, just needing two eyes to study our feathered friends of the trees. Setting up the feeder in front of the dinning room french doors should give us the chance to watch them munch on seeds and kitchen scraps. As we happily dine on our meals in front of them. Somewhere in all my yet to be unpacked boxes is the collection of "bird recipes" that I have collected and used to keep them coming back for more home cooking.

I feel the need for getting a home schedule in place, to get better organized in several areas of our home. Those cluttered areas are frustrating for me and a waste of energy brooding over them. Time to get with the program! Just getting an area or two settled has helped my mental disposition tremendously already. The starting of a new year, the first day of Spring or the beginning of a calendar month are times of the year when we all tend to want to "get our house in order." I think we were created with a need for order built right into our beings. After all we were created in the image of God, who holds everything in order, all the time. Our difficulty comes in maintaining order in a world of chaos around us. There are plenty of "things" to vie for our attention on any given day. Plenty of reasons to let things slide a little, which isn't all bad as long as it doesn't slide into a total mess. Which it will do when we are not looking. So the key is to see our days, our homes, our lives with open eyes, ready to catch that oil spill that will cause us to slide out of control. To take little steps towards a future free from distractions and disorder. After all it is hard to play on a sunny Spring day, when the messes of Winter are still under foot.

Working my way towards playing,

Deborah

Our First Snow ~

They had been calling for snow for several days. Announcing that accumulations could be great in several areas, ours included. Stating that we could get 3-4 inches. I waited, having everything ready and all livestock seen about. Filled water barrels & feed buckets, had extra wood stacked within easy reach, oil lamps trimmed and extra cover on the bed. Waited all day for the storm to come as promised. Went to bed waiting and this is what I found the next morning~

Looking out our driveway towards the road

View across the front yard towards the barn.

Sassie was wondering what had happened to her pasture.

Sassie, check out her thick winter coat. Good for a day like this!

Some of the ladies leaving little starred foot prints in the snow ~

Could you walk in the snow, barefoot?

Didn't slow them down at breakfast.

I know it isn't much compared to the snow in other parts of the U.S., but it was exciting and beautiful all the same for me. Gave me a new challenge in taking care of livestock. Hopefully we will be blessed with a nice snow before winter is over. Shhh! Don't tell me husband, he hates having to work out in this frozen stuff.

Enjoying the new landscape,

Deborah

Nana's Special Girl

Warning this post may sound bias to some, so read with caution. . . .

I am a little weary from the interrupted sleep I've had for weeks on end. Not counting the past 2 nights while sleeping with Leah. A mother always sleeps with her ears open to hear the cries of her child. A grandmother is no different, at least not this one. Every noise made in sleep, every turn in the bed puts one on alert. Disrupting my not so normal sleeping pattern as of late. I blame the lack of sleep for the tears that fell as she left to go home. It seems I can't watch her leave without them falling. Running back from the car to hug my neck and whispering "I love you ~ oodles of noodles" didn't help keep me together either. It had been our little catch phrase we used the past few days to express our love for each other in a special granddaughter~ grandmother fashion.

I believe she had a good visit and was quite the helper to her Nana. Insisting that she can do everything to help. Washing eggs to be sold, helping to carry in firewood for the fire, filling the feed buckets and baking brownies were some of the highlights. Among playing with farm animals (real & plastic), watching favorite videos for 5th time in a row, and having a "pet cat" around named Leah, who does a mean impression of one. Cute 3 year old logic came out frequently and one that stands out in my mind was uttered this morning as "we were cooking breakfast." "I can't sleep a lot when the sun is up." Yes darling, I have trouble with that one too. If only I had her energy straight out of the bed each day.

Her intelligence is growing beyond her 3 years of living. Memorizing very quickly stories, songs and concepts with ease. She thinks at a higher level than I have seen others her age do. I wish I could spend more time with her, her mind is so sharp and ready to learn. She surprised Lon and I New Year's eve by counting to ten in Spanish. And again this morning by singing a song she must have learned in pre-school in Spanish too. Not that she probably understood the words to the song in Spanish, but she was able to relate the numbers spoken in Spanish with counting the eggs we were washing correctly. I think they just grow them smarter these days, than when we grew up. I know these attributes will carry her far in school.

I love you "oodles of noodles", my baby girl.

You are the darling of this Nana's heart,

Deborah

2010 ~ A New Decade

I celebrated the start of the new year with my favorite granddaughter. Lon has to work today, so the two of us are ringing in the new year country style. (aka~ doing morning chores). A new year lies before us with all the potential it can hold. Many celebrated the turning of the year into a new one with much partying. We decided to ring it in more calmly. We celebrated with a big bowl of popcorn, Leah's favorite. (She looks so serious for one so little.) The new glasses makes her look older than she is, kinda of studious. Though this Nana thinks she is mighty smart already.






I am so glad she is here with us for a few days. I can't think of a better way to start this fresh new decade. I wonder in the next 10 years what kind of changes we will face? What kind of changes will she face in her lifetime? Ten years from now she will be sitting squarely in her teens. Will she even want to come out to the farm? I hope so, I hope she never looses the curiosity for life that she has now. She helped me prep the 8 dozen eggs for her Papa to take into work today. She did an excellent job of handling the freshly washed eggs, didn't drop the first one! Leah you are a GREAT helper, good job!

For some reason this one feels different. Could it be because we are getting older, due to the turning of the years becoming more precious to us. Or could it be the fact of our new surroundings. I am leaning towards the first more than the second reason. Facing increasing health issues as we age, causes one to be more keenly aware of the limited time we have before us, if the Lord should tarry. I look forward with hope for all the good things I anticipate in this new year. But would be foolish not to consider the struggles, challenges and heartache that could be there as well. So my challenge to myself and to you is to fully live out the days that you are given. To the fullest with no regrets and we can look back on 2010 with a smile and a full heart.


So much potential lies before us in this new year. Growth in our farm, gardens to be planted and harvested, structures to build, new faces to be loved, renovations on the house, a church family to find, living out a year drawing us closer to retirement, spending time with family, living simply, and sharing God's blessings with others. I can't wait! I look forward to writing about our tales and adventures here, of documenting God's goodness.

Looking ahead with JOY,

Deborah


By the way. . . . Anna still has not given birth, so we are officially looking at 2010 kids to be added to our herd. Rats! I so wanted some holiday babies. Oh well, there is always Valentine's day to be considered.